How to save a relationship
Is the communication in your relationship not as good as before? Is it difficult for you and your partner to remember why you once liked each other so much and do you recognize the signs that your relationship is over? Then you are probably going through a relationship dip or crisis. Once you and your partner have developed a negative interaction pattern, it is difficult to fix it without help. The relationship may have deteriorated to the point where you or your partner are on the verge of breaking up. But if there is still love for each other, then your relationship may still be salvageable.
Saving your relationship by getting started
If the relationship isn't what it once was, it's challenging to try to save it without help. Yet in many cases, a relationship crisis can be remedied - provided you are both prepared to work on it. You may decide to see a relationship counselor. However, in practice, the average couple wait about six years before actually doing it. Not everyone is comfortable discussing their relationship issues with a therapist. And many couples still find the step to a relationship therapist too big and are considering if a time-out in a relationship is a smart move.
If you want to save the relationship without seeing a marriage counselor or relationship therapist, you can choose to follow Monsley's online couples counseling program. This 12-week program has been developed based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Many couples manage to remedy their relationship crisis through the program. You can follow the program at home, don't have to travel long distances to visit a relationship therapist and can follow the program anonymously.
And in the event that you have any questions you would rather discuss with a relationship therapist, you can simply email our experienced therapists and you’ll receive a personal response within 24 hours!
Understand each other better to save the relationship
Usually, problems arise in a relationship when partners don’t not understand each other well. It means there are likely to be problems or unmet needs that aren’t being adequately addressed. When things aren’t properly discussed, emotions can build up, drop by drop, until eventually the bucket overflows. When sensitive topics are properly discussed, you are better able to understand each other, can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider why they sometimes react in certain ways. If your partner does the same, you can together both do your best to interact differently. For example, by addressing problems in the relationship slightly differently, so the other person feels less attacked.
Is it difficult to discuss problems with each other?
So in order to save the relationship, you need to understand each other better. In almost all cases, however, there is also a reason that couples with relationship problems tend not to discuss sensitive topics or have needs that are unmet by their partner. Maybe your partner has fear of commitment? Discuss it. For example, you may be afraid that things will end in a heated discussion. In some relationships, couples are continuously seeking confrontation. That’s often not the way forward either. When there’s no longer good communication, it may be because there is a negative interaction pattern. It can be challenging to break through this pattern without help. That’s why it can feel good to visit a relationship counselor or follow Monsley's online program. And by following the online program’s steps, you may be able to break through your negative interaction pattern.
Take control of your emotions
You are the person primarily responsible for your own feelings and the way you respond to your partner. Your partner can evoke certain emotions in you. For example, if a comment of your partner hurts you, you don’t blame them but instead explain why it has this affect on you. This means there will be less discussion, but that you can discuss the problem in a healthy manner.
Monsley's online program also gives you a better insight into your behavior. Which is one reason the program can be useful even if you follow it on your own. Though of course the best chance of success is when your partner wants to participate as well.
Everyone needs someone with whom to share their feelings
Monsley's online couples counseling program is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT therapy is based on the attachment theory, according to which humans are not made to remain alone, and need someone to share their feelings. At Monsley, too, we believe that in a healthy relationship, feelings must be discussed appropriately. In the online program, you learn to share emotions in a better way and to identify unmet needs. For many couples, this seems to work, as the online program regularly manages to improve relationships within 12 weeks.
Can you save the relationship on your own?
Saving a relationship on your own is, of course, challenging. You can, however, make a start yourself by learning to respond better. This can already make a big difference in the way you interact with each other. At Monsley, we often see that if one of you does their best to save the relationship, the other will soon follow.
Would you like to try the Monsley online program?
Would you like to get going on saving your relationship? Start with a free trial lesson today. It takes just two minutes to get started, and there’s no need for credit card information. If you like the trial lesson, you can choose to subscribe to Monsley's online program. Using the online program, there is every chance you will be able to improve your relationship within 12 weeks, with many relationships being successfully restored with help from the online program.
Would you like to know more about how Monsley's online couples counseling program can save your relationship? On this page you’ll find some answers. And feel free to contact us; we will be more than happy to tell you (and your partner) more!